LESSON 5: WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU’RE A SUGAR BABE?
You shouldn't become a sugar babe without thinking about how it might change you. Here is what might happen to you:
- If you’re a sugar babe once, you could be a sugar babe again. Because you’ll see how easy it is to get things you want this way. As a sugar babe you will never take a part-time job for $10 an hour, because you are used to money coming so much more easily than that.
- You might become more spoiled and self-centered. At first you will only act this way to get what you want from your sugar daddy, and because he enjoys it, but eventually you will find yourself acting this way more often even when you are not with him.
- You could look at men differently. Once you really learn how powerful a woman can be when she knows how to make a man give her what she wants, you will respect men less. It might be harder for you to look at men as anything other than toys for you to play with.
You have to decide if you want these changes to happen to you. One thing you *should not* do is be monogamous with your sugar daddy. Maintaining a casual relationship with a boy close to your age will actually help you enjoy your time with your SD more deeply, because it will sharpen the contrast between what the boy and daddy are giving you. They are VERY different -- you will find it's not at all like trying to maintain relationships with two boys of about equal stature. If you remain sexually active with other boys you will need to discuss the matter of protection with your daddy and decide together how to handle that.
Okay, this is my very last question for you. The final exam. And I want you to think about it carefully! Finish this statement for me.
“I want to become a sugar babe because....”
And you can’t say “because I want this and that.” I’m looking for a different answer... why do you want to be a *sugar babe* to get those things, rather than taking a part time job or getting a loan or asking your grandma for money? Be introspective. This is the most important question I will ask you.
Showing posts with label Lessons on being a sugar baby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lessons on being a sugar baby. Show all posts
Nov 23, 2009
Lesson 4
LESSON 4. THE EVOLUTION OF A SD/SB AFFAIR, and SEX
A SD/SB relationship is constantly evolving, just like any other relationship. It goes through stages, and the transition from one stage to the next is marked by certain milestones.
DEVELOPING: Our first few outings will be about trust building. During this stage it will be very natural for the new SB to assume a submissive role and defer to her daddy in all decisions. She's experimenting with placing herself in his hands; if anything, over the first few dates she will become MORE submissive and even less assertive, as she experiments with how deeply she can trust him. The daddy will know that a firm guiding hand and early establishment of a steady flow of gifts and support are both needed. If the match is good, she will begin to develop a powerful admiration for her daddy and affection for the feeling of security he provides. During this stage it is difficult/rare for the SB to play the part of the Femme Fatale.
MATURING: Although physical encounters may happen earlier, the biggest threshold to the maturing stage is the beginning of an ongoing sexual relationship. The transition can be difficult if the SB has assumed such a submissive role as to seem childlike to her SD, sterilizing and ending the relationship. To avoid this the SD will prepare the SB by pushing for little pre-sexual milestones as the affair develops. His SB must expect that these may sometimes be just beyond her comfort zone at the time, but that's part of the growth process. The SB should feel that the slip toward sex is gradual but inevitable, like a fall from grace.
In a 'normal' relationship, once regular sex begins the power balance almost always tilts toward the man. For a SB and SD, it is the opposite. A girl will be empowered by the feeling of balance that enters into what may previously have felt like an unequal relationship. It is at this stage that the emboldened and maturing SB may begin to regularly ask for things ("I want,") beyond simply accepting with gratitude what her SD gives. She will explore and test the limits of her power; the assertive Femme Fatale begins to emerge occasionally, although she is not a universal presence as the SB continues to enjoy the comfortable earlier dynamic of submission.
DADDY'S GIRL: This is the full, beautiful fruition of "daddy's spoiled little girl." Although the mature, empowered SB may continue to enjoy submitting to her SD's wishes, her submission becomes part of a delightful game, just as does her Femme Fatale side. Her daddy, hopelessly smitten with her, can be assertive and stern, but he also melts before his babe's subtle manipulations, when she chooses to apply them. Daddy's girl feels safe and secure and well looked after in his hands; she looks up to him, respects his accomplishments, revels in the feeling of being treasured. Daddy's generosity continues, but she freely asks for things she wants, becase she knows daddy will not let her down.
This time, the test is in short answer format. The questions are meant to help me learn your attitude toward sex. Knowing these things will help me steer the right path between pushing too quickly and the "childish" dead end.
1) Who’s your favorite female actress?
2) How many men have you slept with?
3) Have you ever had a one night stand? Have you had more than one?
4) Are you dominant or submissive in bed?
5) Have you ever faked an orgasm?
6) Should a sugar babe fake an orgasm?
7) On a scale of 1 (you’re an angel) to 10 (the baddest girl you know is ... YOU), where would you put yourself right now?
8) On that same scale, where do you WANT to be?
9) Have you ever had any of the following: charity sex, sex that you've been told about but can't remember, sex with multiple partners, sex out of boredom with someone you weren't that attracted to?
A SD/SB relationship is constantly evolving, just like any other relationship. It goes through stages, and the transition from one stage to the next is marked by certain milestones.
DEVELOPING: Our first few outings will be about trust building. During this stage it will be very natural for the new SB to assume a submissive role and defer to her daddy in all decisions. She's experimenting with placing herself in his hands; if anything, over the first few dates she will become MORE submissive and even less assertive, as she experiments with how deeply she can trust him. The daddy will know that a firm guiding hand and early establishment of a steady flow of gifts and support are both needed. If the match is good, she will begin to develop a powerful admiration for her daddy and affection for the feeling of security he provides. During this stage it is difficult/rare for the SB to play the part of the Femme Fatale.
MATURING: Although physical encounters may happen earlier, the biggest threshold to the maturing stage is the beginning of an ongoing sexual relationship. The transition can be difficult if the SB has assumed such a submissive role as to seem childlike to her SD, sterilizing and ending the relationship. To avoid this the SD will prepare the SB by pushing for little pre-sexual milestones as the affair develops. His SB must expect that these may sometimes be just beyond her comfort zone at the time, but that's part of the growth process. The SB should feel that the slip toward sex is gradual but inevitable, like a fall from grace.
In a 'normal' relationship, once regular sex begins the power balance almost always tilts toward the man. For a SB and SD, it is the opposite. A girl will be empowered by the feeling of balance that enters into what may previously have felt like an unequal relationship. It is at this stage that the emboldened and maturing SB may begin to regularly ask for things ("I want,") beyond simply accepting with gratitude what her SD gives. She will explore and test the limits of her power; the assertive Femme Fatale begins to emerge occasionally, although she is not a universal presence as the SB continues to enjoy the comfortable earlier dynamic of submission.
DADDY'S GIRL: This is the full, beautiful fruition of "daddy's spoiled little girl." Although the mature, empowered SB may continue to enjoy submitting to her SD's wishes, her submission becomes part of a delightful game, just as does her Femme Fatale side. Her daddy, hopelessly smitten with her, can be assertive and stern, but he also melts before his babe's subtle manipulations, when she chooses to apply them. Daddy's girl feels safe and secure and well looked after in his hands; she looks up to him, respects his accomplishments, revels in the feeling of being treasured. Daddy's generosity continues, but she freely asks for things she wants, becase she knows daddy will not let her down.
This time, the test is in short answer format. The questions are meant to help me learn your attitude toward sex. Knowing these things will help me steer the right path between pushing too quickly and the "childish" dead end.
1) Who’s your favorite female actress?
2) How many men have you slept with?
3) Have you ever had a one night stand? Have you had more than one?
4) Are you dominant or submissive in bed?
5) Have you ever faked an orgasm?
6) Should a sugar babe fake an orgasm?
7) On a scale of 1 (you’re an angel) to 10 (the baddest girl you know is ... YOU), where would you put yourself right now?
8) On that same scale, where do you WANT to be?
9) Have you ever had any of the following: charity sex, sex that you've been told about but can't remember, sex with multiple partners, sex out of boredom with someone you weren't that attracted to?
Lesson 3
3. BEING A FEMME FATALE
A sugar babe strives to be the perfect companion for her man, but *she* controls much of the arrangement in subtle ways.
She can do this because she knows two things about men:
- her man will work hardest to please her, to satisfy her desires, if he feels that he is in danger of losing the pleasures she is giving him.
- men, even confident men, have fragile egos. If she can figure out what a man wants to be admired for – it might be his looks, his power, his brains - she’ll know how to act as his biggest fan and supporter when it serves her purposes. She’ll also know how to chip away at his ego, because there will be times when that serves her purposes too.
A Femme Fatale never lets emotion cloud her objectives. Even as she’s having fun hanging out with her sugar daddy, she never lets herself think that she’s been given enough: she always expects more. Here are the Femme Fatale’s answers to #4 and #5:
4. Remember that she doesn’t always view the things her sugar daddy is giving as gifts. She feels that she is entitled to them: they’re hers even before he gives them to her. So she could also do one of two things: she might say nothing at all about that envelope, as if he’d just returned a lighter or cell phone he’d borrowed from her a moment ago. Or if she thinks he has not given enough, she presses him for more, maybe by raising her eyebrow and saying “is that really the best you can do, daddy?”
5. The Femme Fatale would flirt with the other guy - glances, smiles... perhaps she’d even turn her body toward him, flip her hair, I’m sure you know all the little body language signs. All of this is a show she puts on for her sugar daddy: it shows him that she is desirable and he must *work* to keep her attention. Never let your sugar daddy forget that.
To truly become a Femme Fatale you have to let your self centered side in charge. It’s kind of like learning to say “I want this,” I can tell that being manipulative and selfish won’t come naturally to you at first. But you must trust me: many guys find demanding, hard-to-please women irresistible. So we have to practice!
Essay question format for this homework.
1) We’re out shopping. You’ve just tried on a dress, and we both agree that it looks fantastic on you. As you’re in the dressing room taking it off, you look at the price tag for the first time and notice that it costs half a month’s rent. What do you do when you come out of the dressing room?
2) I’ve just given you an envelope, and while I’m in the bathroom you count the money and see that it contains $250. But you need $400 to have enough left over after paying your phone bill so that you can go out with your friends. You ask for more when I get back to the table, but I only have $40 in my wallet. What do you do?
3) We’re out to dinner, and you notice that I’m checking out the attractive waitress who is serving us. After I call her over to refill your water and keep her at the table for three minutes making jokes and small talk, you decide to do something. What do you do to turn the situation to your advantage?
A sugar babe strives to be the perfect companion for her man, but *she* controls much of the arrangement in subtle ways.
She can do this because she knows two things about men:
- her man will work hardest to please her, to satisfy her desires, if he feels that he is in danger of losing the pleasures she is giving him.
- men, even confident men, have fragile egos. If she can figure out what a man wants to be admired for – it might be his looks, his power, his brains - she’ll know how to act as his biggest fan and supporter when it serves her purposes. She’ll also know how to chip away at his ego, because there will be times when that serves her purposes too.
A Femme Fatale never lets emotion cloud her objectives. Even as she’s having fun hanging out with her sugar daddy, she never lets herself think that she’s been given enough: she always expects more. Here are the Femme Fatale’s answers to #4 and #5:
4. Remember that she doesn’t always view the things her sugar daddy is giving as gifts. She feels that she is entitled to them: they’re hers even before he gives them to her. So she could also do one of two things: she might say nothing at all about that envelope, as if he’d just returned a lighter or cell phone he’d borrowed from her a moment ago. Or if she thinks he has not given enough, she presses him for more, maybe by raising her eyebrow and saying “is that really the best you can do, daddy?”
5. The Femme Fatale would flirt with the other guy - glances, smiles... perhaps she’d even turn her body toward him, flip her hair, I’m sure you know all the little body language signs. All of this is a show she puts on for her sugar daddy: it shows him that she is desirable and he must *work* to keep her attention. Never let your sugar daddy forget that.
To truly become a Femme Fatale you have to let your self centered side in charge. It’s kind of like learning to say “I want this,” I can tell that being manipulative and selfish won’t come naturally to you at first. But you must trust me: many guys find demanding, hard-to-please women irresistible. So we have to practice!
Essay question format for this homework.
1) We’re out shopping. You’ve just tried on a dress, and we both agree that it looks fantastic on you. As you’re in the dressing room taking it off, you look at the price tag for the first time and notice that it costs half a month’s rent. What do you do when you come out of the dressing room?
2) I’ve just given you an envelope, and while I’m in the bathroom you count the money and see that it contains $250. But you need $400 to have enough left over after paying your phone bill so that you can go out with your friends. You ask for more when I get back to the table, but I only have $40 in my wallet. What do you do?
3) We’re out to dinner, and you notice that I’m checking out the attractive waitress who is serving us. After I call her over to refill your water and keep her at the table for three minutes making jokes and small talk, you decide to do something. What do you do to turn the situation to your advantage?
Lesson 2
2. SPOILING YOUR SUGAR DADDY
The art of being a sugar babe lies in pleasing your man so perfectly that control – which starts out with the man – passes gradually also to *you*. To be a sugar babe is *not* to be submissively obedient; that's a common and unfortunate misconception. A sugar babe challenges and pushes her daddy, too.
The things that stimulate your sugar daddy are very different than what pleases boys your age. I know you’re sophisticated and mature for your age, but only a strong, adult woman can truly handle being a sugar babe. She knows how to use both her mind and body to attain her goals. Is that you? We'll see!
- you must be able to carry on intelligent, opinionated conversations about books, film, current events – the more topics, the better.
- you should naturally and gracefully fit in at fine restaurants, the theatre, upscale shops, anywhere we go on our dates.
- you should discreetly flaunt your beauty. I want other’s men’s heads to turn when I’m out with you: you will be my arm candy. But I want them to look because you’re naturally, simply beautiful, not because you have tried too hard to be sexy by wearing too much makeup, dressing inappropriately for the occasion, and so on.
- you must be able to lie with skill. Our relationship is private. If we meet anyone I know, you must tell the cover story we will invent as easily as if it were the truth.
- you must be observant and pick up on my preferences and dislikes, filing them away in their memory.
- you must become skilled at flirtation and teasing, if you are not already.
- when you give the simplest gift a woman can give a man, you must remember view it or offer it as a quid pro quo.
- you must never, ever be shy about telling me what YOU want. Remember lesson 1?
I said there were no tests in Sugar Babe 101. I lied!
1) Tell me three valuable (to you) things (not objects; think more generally) you will enjoy giving your SD.
2) How old have the guys you’ve dated been? (this helps me understand if you've been in any quasi-SD relationships in the past)
3) What are you going to say to your friends when they ask you how you got the extra money or the new things?
4) What are you going to say to me the first time I give you an envelope, you open it and see that it’s filled with cash?
5) When you’re out on a date and you catch another guy looking at you, do you make eye contact and flirt with him? Do you make sure guy you’re with notices you doing this, or do you try to hide it?
6) Do you know what it means to be a Femme Fatale? If not, check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Femme_fatale. Do you think you can become a Femme Fatale to get what you want?
The art of being a sugar babe lies in pleasing your man so perfectly that control – which starts out with the man – passes gradually also to *you*. To be a sugar babe is *not* to be submissively obedient; that's a common and unfortunate misconception. A sugar babe challenges and pushes her daddy, too.
The things that stimulate your sugar daddy are very different than what pleases boys your age. I know you’re sophisticated and mature for your age, but only a strong, adult woman can truly handle being a sugar babe. She knows how to use both her mind and body to attain her goals. Is that you? We'll see!
- you must be able to carry on intelligent, opinionated conversations about books, film, current events – the more topics, the better.
- you should naturally and gracefully fit in at fine restaurants, the theatre, upscale shops, anywhere we go on our dates.
- you should discreetly flaunt your beauty. I want other’s men’s heads to turn when I’m out with you: you will be my arm candy. But I want them to look because you’re naturally, simply beautiful, not because you have tried too hard to be sexy by wearing too much makeup, dressing inappropriately for the occasion, and so on.
- you must be able to lie with skill. Our relationship is private. If we meet anyone I know, you must tell the cover story we will invent as easily as if it were the truth.
- you must be observant and pick up on my preferences and dislikes, filing them away in their memory.
- you must become skilled at flirtation and teasing, if you are not already.
- when you give the simplest gift a woman can give a man, you must remember view it or offer it as a quid pro quo.
- you must never, ever be shy about telling me what YOU want. Remember lesson 1?
I said there were no tests in Sugar Babe 101. I lied!
1) Tell me three valuable (to you) things (not objects; think more generally) you will enjoy giving your SD.
2) How old have the guys you’ve dated been? (this helps me understand if you've been in any quasi-SD relationships in the past)
3) What are you going to say to your friends when they ask you how you got the extra money or the new things?
4) What are you going to say to me the first time I give you an envelope, you open it and see that it’s filled with cash?
5) When you’re out on a date and you catch another guy looking at you, do you make eye contact and flirt with him? Do you make sure guy you’re with notices you doing this, or do you try to hide it?
6) Do you know what it means to be a Femme Fatale? If not, check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Femme_fatale. Do you think you can become a Femme Fatale to get what you want?
Lesson 1
These are the "lessons" that Mr. Brickbreaker has been sending me. They have been very insightful and think they would benefit some new sugarbabies, maybe even some of the more experienced.
LESSON ONE: learn to say the words “I want.” You have to be able to tell me things like “I want you to buy me this dress” and “I need five hundred dollars.” This is not as easy as it sounds. You might be uncomfortable the first couple of times. But it’s VERY important that eventually that become natural and easy thing for you to say.
A Sugar Daddy *enjoys* satisfying his babe’s wants and needs. But he must know what they are! I won’t be able to read your mind at the beginning. Later, once I have learned what makes you happy, it gets easier. Self-centeredness is what being a Sugar Babe is about. It's NOT a bad quality, not for a Sugar Babe; you must stop thinking of it that way.
Did I say there was no homework? I lied! Here is your assignment: you must practice saying “I want” so that you are used to it. Like this:
“I want to get rid of my crappy cellphone and get a BlackBerry.”
Write me 5 sentences like that. Each one starting with “I want.” They might be something you want to buy, some amount of money you want to have to pay a bill, an experience you want to have like a spa treatment... whatever. But make them things you’d expect your Sugar Daddy to give you – no matter how simpatico we are I’m not going to buy you a Range Rover.
LESSON ONE: learn to say the words “I want.” You have to be able to tell me things like “I want you to buy me this dress” and “I need five hundred dollars.” This is not as easy as it sounds. You might be uncomfortable the first couple of times. But it’s VERY important that eventually that become natural and easy thing for you to say.
A Sugar Daddy *enjoys* satisfying his babe’s wants and needs. But he must know what they are! I won’t be able to read your mind at the beginning. Later, once I have learned what makes you happy, it gets easier. Self-centeredness is what being a Sugar Babe is about. It's NOT a bad quality, not for a Sugar Babe; you must stop thinking of it that way.
Did I say there was no homework? I lied! Here is your assignment: you must practice saying “I want” so that you are used to it. Like this:
“I want to get rid of my crappy cellphone and get a BlackBerry.”
Write me 5 sentences like that. Each one starting with “I want.” They might be something you want to buy, some amount of money you want to have to pay a bill, an experience you want to have like a spa treatment... whatever. But make them things you’d expect your Sugar Daddy to give you – no matter how simpatico we are I’m not going to buy you a Range Rover.
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