'09 in a nutshell- Hopes and Goals for 2010

2009 has been a HUGE learning experience for me. I look at back at where I was last year at this time and I am so thankful that (Insert higher being here) has planted me in this little sugary garden.

To give you a little insight on where I was last year, I was dating someone I went to high school with that I didn't know at the time. We became an item and were together for two years. He was the biggest bull-shitter I have ever known and I still love him. He was my first love. He had promised me everything under the sun and did everything he could do to get it for me. The only problem was, he didn't work that hard to get me everything under the sun he had promised. I was on the fast track to becoming the fiance, the wife, the mom, the bread winner of the family with a fiance, husband, the dad, that sat on his ass telling me about our kids and how they were growing up because he had no ambition.

One day I took a step back and realized I didn't want to be there. I wanted to be the fiance, the wife, the mom, who didn't really have to work, but did it to keep her busy and have some extra cash for shopping or fun vacations. I ultimately want to be the wife on the movie The Blind Side.
The wife that actually runs the house but makes it appear that her husband does.

I hope to find this one day in my life and I know it will come, for now I am just thankful that I get to be apart of the sugar lifestyle. To have gifts, to be adored by older men, to have a mentor (because my father decided to step down from that position when I was 3), to be treated like a princess and to show my appreciation to them.

The list for 2010:

• Never stray from the person I really am
• Get back into horseback riding
• Make myself more irresistible to men (aka loose a little more lbs and tone it up)
• Get an amazing internship
• Have amazing times with SDs while I still have time
• Get a trip to Europe 
• A new car (or new to me) a convertible would be amazing!
• Look the part as an SB and future business woman, no more t shirts :(
• Take golf lessons
• Piano lessons (that might have to come next year)
• Try to go to a yoga studio 3 times a week
• Finally get an allowance from a SD
• Get A's and B's this semester 
• Start reading more 

I'm sure I will add more later. I can't really think of all I want to accomplish this year. That's a pretty good list to start with.

I hope all of you have an amazing New Year! I will be baby sitting for a 6 year old. It shouldn't be THAT bad. Making easy money in the New Year!

SMY called to see what I was doing tonight. He almost got kicked out of his house last night. What a dumb ass! I told him I was baby sitting. I might spend the night with him after I get done with baby sitting, if he is at his other place.I think he is falling for me and I think it scares him, almost scares me a bit. He asked when I was going back to school and I said probably around the 13 or 14th. He knows I don't start school until the next week and asked me why I was going back so early and I told him I was going to go to Denver for a little vay-kay. He asked what I would do and why I was going. I almost mentioned that it was another guy taking me there. Should I let him know that it's an SD taking me there? I don't want him to think he is the only one I'm "waiting" around for. But I also don't want him to shove it in my face later. I know I should be honest with him, but I'm so torn. I don't want to hurt his feelings, if there are any. I think he is scared I might hurt him. He might be right.....

Haven't talked to Mr. Denver today. I wonder what he is getting into tonight...

How cool would it be to celebrate the New Year up in the mountains with champagne, hottubs, snow, all in an amazing log cobin.... May have to be on the list for next New Year! Or on the Dateline in a big yatch! DUDE! Lots to make come true in this next year. I better get busy!

Luv ya mean it, girls!

-Nicole SS

Holy psycho in a hand basket

 In the beginning of the conversation, he kept repeating "Do you understand what I'm looking for?", he never really said anything but this in his profile.


        "I am looking for someone cute, open minded, and clean cut. I want to find someone easy going that I can spoil. I know just as much about fashion as most girls claim so I feel as though I always give good advice. I am not shallow though and personality counts just as much as looks. I am not into tattoos or piercings but I can make exceptions. I find myself to be personable, attractive, and well dressed. I am enjoy working out and playing tennis. Please contact me if you have any interest. "


That's pretty easy to understand. He wants a girl to have around. Spoil. Obviously someone with cute looks, because he is going to fly her out to NY and actually SEEEEEEEEE her. 


WRONG!


This guy wants to have phone conversations for $200 a call... Just a phone conversation about him pouring his life on me and his deepest darkest secrets. WHAT THE FUCK. He started talking about how he liked to look at black guy's cocks... WHAT THE FUCK (x 54,398,083,345,983).  I told him I had an appointment that I needed to get to prior to the conversation, for an easy out, just in case. He didn't want to fly me out to NY. No meeting, just talking about how he likes cocks and likes to look at them. Let me repeat myself again. 
WHAT THE FREAKING FUCK?!?!!?
I'm laughing to myself now because it's so fucking redick! If he wanted someone to talk to about that stuff he could have just gone to a therapist or like DONE IT ONLINE!






Flight is booked for Denver! 

DENVER!!! I need help girls!

Girls, I might be going to Denver for a little weekend Vay-Kay. This guy is new, I guess I will call him Denver?

I haven't written about him yet even though we have been talking for a little while. His emails are funny, sarcastic, witty, pretty much everything that I am. He has a little foul mouth on him sometimes, but so do I. I was supposed to call him last night before I went to bed, but I ended up taking that absolutely AMAZING and divine cough syrup and slept on the couch instead of my bed. EWWWSPPPIES!!

Anyway he just mentioned something about a weekend up in Denver. Girls I need your help on Travel tips!! I'm leaving the 15th of Jan. and only staying till the 17th but I think that is enough time. I know I would probably need my own room and hotel. Even though I'm sure he has more than one house in CO. He is getting his secretary to look up flights. I hope hope hope it's first class.  I just now realized, I don't have any cold weather stuff to wear!! SHIT! I mean I have a ski jacket but I don't know how well it's going to keep me warm. I guess I have a pea coat. SHOPPING IS IN ORDER DADDY!

SO I have really never been around snow and I'm super excited. I went snowboarding when I was in high school but I wasn't in it for long. I ended up breaking my wrist so I was inside for the last 3 days. I LOVE SNOW! But that means no heels right?!? SO SHIT what am I going to wear?

SMY called me today pretty early, well earlier than his usual time. I didn't answer. Then I got a call from a blocked number. I never answer those, if they leave a voice mail, I might call them back. I called SMY back and he sounded pretty stressed.
"*wifey* went though my phone last night, she is probably going to call you."
"I think she already did, I didn't answer."
"OK, well I'll talk to you later."
"k bye."

I think I have broken down SMY a little more. I know why he wants me around. I remind him of a younger version of his wife. When she was skinny, athletic, beautiful, not a bitch, etc. I can deal with that. I know he won't get too attached just because he LOVE LOVES variety. I think I will keep him around for nights out to clubs and partying. He isn't really the ultimate sugar daddy. He is like the fun, little gift, drug, drinks, fill up my gas tank daddy. Nice to have around when I want to go crazy downtown or try a new sushi place, but sucks with the allowance and keeping his wife out of his phone. DRAMA! No, thanks. I'll pass!  I might need to teach him how to lie a little better.

So this was the night that I was most looking forward to. SMY and I had talked about it all week. The night that we could finally go out on the town and we would have fun with his friends and my friends, well the ones that were in town, anyway. I decided to take a shower and then head over to my friend's house to get ready and do my hair. I had checked in with SMY to see what we were doing. He got a suite for the night, so no drinking and driving, SMART PLAN. The ultimate plan was to meet at the hotel, pre-party, and go to the club. Once again, I was an hour late. I'm really never late and the past two times that I have made plans to meet up with him at a specific time, I'm late. Probably doesn't look great on my part but I'm going to make it a point to be on-time the next time.

We valeted and I charged it to his room without asking him first, tehehehe. He met us down in the lobby, walked us up and carried my over night bag.  I could tell he had been drinking already while waiting for us girls. We all meet each other, start drinking, and decide to head to the bar. In the car ride over to the hotel, my friend was hoping that we would be taking a taxi to the club and save our precious little feet for dancing. SMY rings a taxi, MUSIC TO THE GIRLS' EARS and mine, of course. The heels that I was wearing last night wouldn't have been fun to make the trek it.

We get our booth for bottle service and start dancing and having a good time. OH so his friends that went out with us, know his wife... I MEAN LIKE ONE OF THEM IS BLOOD RELATED! Drinks start flowing, inhibitions go away. The next thing you know we are bringing a girl and another couple to the hotel to have a little after party. I got the hot waitresses numbers to come party. We have fun with our couple of drinks, a few laughs, blah blah blah.

Everything starts winding down, I change into sweats. SMY could not resist me. He could not keep his hands off of me the entire night. Needless to say I did not get any sleep whatsoever and neither did he. We talked about things, fucked, talked some more, fucked, some more fucking. hmm yepp  .
All in all, it was an amazing wild night adventure.  I don't know when his wife will be back in town, but hopefully never! I feel so sorry for him. He is treated like absolute shit.

I wish I could tell you all the details but then this would turn into a novel.

Maybe I should update....

(are you kidding me, these are redick!)

Well nothing sugar has been going on lately. I bought some new boy shorts and some really cute sweats with the gift card SMY got me. We haven't been talking as much since I have been into town. He did give me a wake up call yesterday(after I had sent a text saying I missed them), but I was completely out of it at 8:30am because I had just woken up at 6:30am to give myself another dose of my AMAZING codeine cough syrup. I WAS OUT OF IT. Probably shouldn't have even of answered my phone. Meh whatev., I was cute and cuddled up in my bed whispering sweet nothings wishing he was there with me.

I have lost touch with most of the potSDs but I'm sure they will be crawling back once the world goes back to normalcy from these crazy holidays.

I have already gotten my santa gift... A NEW SUIT CASE! It's real cute. Now I can travel and look cute instead of having luggage that I have had since I was like 9. YAY! It even has a cute place for my laptop. I also got a cute rhinestone crown coffee mug. It's going to be perfect for my 8am studios that will last till 3pm... FML.  I will update more when it comes tonight!!

Speak of the freaking devil... SMY called. What a cutie. Bad news wifey doesn't leave till SAT. FUCK THAT HOE BAG. She pushed her flight back, she knows something is up and he said "My cell is going to be under hard core surveillance the next couple of days because *wife* knows that I'm planning some xmas gifts for myself." hmmm does she think strippers? WHO KNOWS. Maybe I'm his little xmas gift. Maybe I should get him something? That would be a hard gift to shop for. Maybe a bottle of wine or some liquor. He loves vodka and patron. Think I might have found the perfect gift. Hello SPECS! He asked after he dropped off wifey and son at the airport if he could have morning sex with me at my house. I told him not at my house but possibly at his. Wifey might have cameras up or something... how funny would that be. I would give her a good show.

He mentioned something about hating xmas and all the gifts, he added that he loved shopping for mine. I asked why. "Because I didn't have to wrap it." Well SMY you do know you can have people wrap your gifts for you right? HAHAHA What a funny man. Personally, I LOVE wrapping. I always find the most perfect unexpected gifts for people. Wrapping it in the perfect gift wrap is always the most fun for me. I guess it's a talent I have.

I always think his wife loves catching him. His wife isn't dumb and is very intuitive. I hate intuitive people that work against me. Having them on your side is better, sometimes.

I'm so ready to booze it up. HUGE xmas dinner, Booze, Presents, Cards.... If only it would stop being so freaking windy...

MERRY CHRISTMAS SUGARS!!

Date with SMY

He had decided on 3 places to go. A really good steak place and two sushi places (SMY and I LOVE sushi). So I made him decide on where he wanted to take me. Meanwhile I was joking around that he was going to cancel on me. He thought I was going to cancel on him because when I met him downtown (while I was with Ivanka) I might have been a little more than tipsy.  He kept saying "You might have had your beer goggles on." We all know how that goes.

Well, I was late because I had to look at this house with my mom (pictures will come a little later on FB). ALMOST A FREAKING HOUR. I hate builders who want to talk forever. It's a beautiful house, almost breath taking. I had texted him telling him that I was going to be late and that I would leave but I didn't have my car. He was my real-life GPS for like 15 minutes because I didn't know where I was going. We were outside of the restaurant and he said he had a present for me that he had gotten. I was very surprised and asked him what it was... He didn't tell me,  he handed me a victoria's secret gift bag....
"WHAT IS IT, A THONG?"
"No, that would have been too presumptuous."
A gift card. I didn't open it, yet.

We had lunch and it was VERY good. I'm retarded with chopsticks and he made the waiter make me the "child's version". Oh he was so sweet. We were about to finish eating and then came the "what are we doing next" conversation. He wanted to take me to the driving range. Well, I'm the only one in my family that doesn't golf and the fact that I had stiletto boots on didn't help matters. I asked him if he wanted to help me organize his office (he had mentioned that in a conversation on the phone to make a little cash) He replied, "If you were to come back to the office, I wouldn't be able to focus." I said, "there is nothing wrong with that, I'll make sure you focus." Regardless I got my way and went back to his office for a "massage". We all know what that means...

I followed him to his office and we watched tv for a bit. He gave me possibly the worst massage ever. It was thoughtful. One thing lead to another and we were doing the dirty... I know I know horrible of me. My hormones got the best of me. FUCK HORMONES!! He enjoyed it better than I did and I'm glad to please. So I guess I have him hooked in more than one way, mauhahahahahha.

After I left, I opened the present. Well the gift card didn't say anything the amount so I texted him what the amount was.... "150" WHAT?!?!?! FUCK YES! I only get my comfy boy shorts from vicki's so that's a good hefty amount. I called him and thanked him, he asked what I was going to do tonight and this weekend. I told him and I asked him what he was doing. He made sure that I would be the first one to know if he was going to go out without the wife. YES!!

Once again, I'm waiting for it to be Monday so I can talk and see him. I'm starting to hate the weekends. Next weekend he wants to go downtown and celebrate something of his friend's blah blah I wasn't really paying attention, he wants me to bring girlfriends. Ivanka, you down?

Update later babies! Luv ya Mean it!

I thought weekends were something to look forward to...

I'm finding myself loving the weekdays and dreading the weekends because of SMY. I only talk to him during the week because his weekends are with his son. I haven't talked to him since Thursday and it was only a little chat because he was in and out of meetings and taking care of stuff at the office. He has been quite busy lately and that means more shopping and dinners for me. Yay!! I love when that happens.
 I can't wait to see him this coming Thursday!! I hope lunch will be amazing and anything we do after that.

I have talked more to Mr. Hardwood. He wants to do something this next weekend. Let's see if he tries to slither his way out of this one... he probably will and have some lame ass excuse. Oh well, I will have back up plans like I always do.

My sugar stream is slowly coming to a stop. I'm sure with the holidays coming up, there isn't going to be much activity.

I'm so ready to get finals over with. My father won't be too happy with my grades this semester but I tried my hardest with all things considered.

I seriously need a massage and a sugar scrub!!

Update on SMY, sugar life, and half of my real life...

Sorry I haven't updated in about a week. Just haven't had very interesting news to tell you guys...

SMY:
He was going to surprise me with a visit up here. I figured he was just talking out of his ass like most guys do... Well I was right. He isn't coming. Which is actually better because I have a very busy week ahead of me. I FUCKING HATE DEAD WEEK OF FINALS! We are STILL going to class during dead week. FML. Anyway he isn't coming and it's better that way.

We had talked this morning about when I was coming back into town for the holidays. I asked him when I should and he said he wanted to take me to lunch on the Friday I get back. He mentioned something about this steak house that is really good. He said lunch, martinis, shopping, and maybe a hotel room.... "Umm I don't know about the hotel room" (our talks have been VERY flirtatious so I can see why he said that)  "I just don't want to promise you something and not follow through with it." SMOOTH MOVE ON MY PART! HA! He appreciated my comment.

Anyway ladies (maybe gentlemen) I don't know if I want to go shopping because my last experience shopping with Mr. BrickBreaker was a complete disaster! I felt like he was judging me on what type of shoes I would get. If they were too flashy, blah blah blah. He should have just shut  his mouth and observed what I liked. Whatever... end rant. Anyway I don't know if I want to go shopping, so what should I do?  He had mentioned something about the driving range... P.S. my whole family knows how to play golf but I DON'T! I told him I just never got around to getting lessons because I was always busy with horse shows and stuff. (BTW I ride horses... I know so cliche- being from Texas and riding horses... but I do the Jumping thing, so not completely true) So maybe it will be a good way for him to teach me and get closer that way.

He had said something about going to a shooting range with his son one time. So I mentioned it to him... Why not go there? Take some aggression out blah blah blah... but it almost seems too trashy in a way.  And I would want to take my aggression out in the bedroom if you know what I mean.  Put Put sounds too regular date-ie-ish (I know not a word, but sounded so perfect) SHITTTTTTT I don't know!!!  Maybe a spa date? couple's massage? Maybe not for the first "official" date...

GIRLS I NEED YOUR OPINION!!

No reply from Mr.Brickbreaker with the last email I sent him... (look below)

New pots. 


Mr. Downtown- Have been talking to him for about a week or 2... Wants to meet up, very short emails. No communication skills over email what so ever. He said he is different in person. FUCK I HOPE SO! Every time I ask him what he does, he somehow avoids the question... Not so sure about him but we will know soon enough.

Mr. Corvette- Yes he has one, I think he is in love with it. Small business owner. Has seen 2 other girls from my college. ASKED IF HE COULD STAY WITH ME WHILE HE WAS IN TOWN... UM NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I told him I had three roommates and one of them was a guy... haha! Lies all Lies! He wants to meet for lunch sometime... we will see where that goes... probably not very far.

Mr. Sushi- Obsessed with sushi! YES!! Wants to meet when he gets back from Hawaii and Vegas... UMMMM yes please! He asked me to join him in Vegas... I told him I wasn't comfortable with that. He understood. He keeps hinting on me going on trips with him... CHYEAH!

Mr. Business- Currently in Germany for business. (check yes) We will see where that goes... Not too much on him yet but I'll let you know when I get some more!

Right now I think SMY is my best bet for a SD over the holidays... He isn't going to NY with his kid anymore (his wife is taking him) YAY! more time with him!!! I think he will help me get motivated to go work out more. HE IS OBSESSED! Maybe yoga membership?  Yes please daddy! I NEED CASH, BILLS AND X MAS PRESENTS NEED TO BE PURCHASED!

Back to studying my life away and writing papers. Jesus I haven't even eaten yet!

Baby, It's Cold Outside

Officially downloaded the first song of Christmas!!

Baby, it's cold outside- Leon Redbone and Zooey Deschanel.

I'm so ready for finals to be over. Only two more weeks of class and the week of finals. I'm really looking forward to going to Vegas with the family. I know I know, you thought it was a SD taking me to Vegas... NOPE, No such luck yet. It should be fun with the family, mine is the crazy party animal type, yes it's going to be quite an adventure. I'm still debating on when when the family should go to Vegas. Before christmas or after... My christmas isn't going to be that exciting because we have to start packing and moving. BLAH I might just stay at my apartment for that little week...

In sugar news:

The only thing that is really going on right now is the guy that me and Ivanka (Adventures In Sugar Land) had met at the bar when we went out gallivanting around and looking for SD's.

I have been waiting on a nickname to come to me, but it hasn't yet. So let's just make one up, shall we?

His name: Mr. SMYank. (why not SMY for short?).

He has short hair, 6'2" ( I'm 5'6 so with 3"- 4" heels he was still taller than me... HARD TO FIND!), the build of a pro football player. YUMMM football players! OH not to mention blue eyes.  He was funny and bought Ivanka and I drinks and shots... btw Ivanka can drink, don't let this cute innocent looking girl fool you.

Back to SMY, he owns a construction company. I verified. He also was willing to give me the website and was very open about EVERYTHING. He has been a SD before. (check!) The only thing that is keeping us from seeing each other is school, my trip to vegas (maybe), and his trip to NY with his kid. So we might even see each other until next year. Sad day. He was joking about taking a "business trip" to where I go to school. That would be fun! Hopefully he is a little bit serious. Our conversations and texts are hilarious, sarcastic, witty, amazing. He called me this morning at 9 (before he knew that I had been up since 7am) and said "What's the story morning glory?" haha SO CUTE!  I'm very curious to see where this goes.

Updates as they come....

Ready to get completely annoyed with christmas songs yet?

I think I made an EWWWWPSIES!

I just sent Mr. Brickbreaker an email that probably wasn't the best to send, especially when I'm hung over and bitchy. OH WELL! Maybe I am channeling my inner bitch more? That's ultimately what he wanted, right?

Just some food for thought! I'm not really expecting an email back, but if you feel inclined to do so, great.  

If you knew that you weren't very good at taking control with first-time sugar babes,  why even proceed to talk to me? Did you think that I was going to be more dominate in person? Yes, I was very submissive but I was trying to get a feel of your personality, etc.  Usually when you do that you don't take the wheel, it's like watching a creature in its own habitat (ant farm, zoo, etc.). 

This isn't supposed to be a bitch fest but maybe you can see it from my perspective a little better. (you should always have other people's perspectives going through your mind) Maybe take this with a huge grain of salt, or put it in that file storage of yours. 

 About planning another date, why did you say anything if you weren't going to follow though?  Obviously you felt a connection because usually people wouldn't have mentioned meeting up another day. I was quite confused on that.  But maybe you don't fit into the "most people" category. 

I wish you luck on your journey. Hope your weekend went well. 

A fellow blogger and I went out last night to scout for potSDs, She might have hit the jackpot, don't want to double jinx it for her. Possibly one on my end as well. He had called last night on my way home to see if I was making it home safely. He wanted me to go back to the four seasons with him, but I declined. I'm quite glad I did, adds more mystery to the pot... I'm thinking he is married because he sent a text saying not to call or text till monday... assuming wifey will look at his phone? I didn't look for a ring, I was a little too tipsy at that point. 

Don't you hate when alcohol just sneaks up on you? I feel like absolute shit today and have decided to drive back to school at 5:30 in the morning to make it to my only class on Monday. FML! 

Mr. BrickBreaker is a bust

So I finally got an email back from him...

 "I wanted to leave a day or so for us both to think about how our first meeting went.  I had a lovely time spoiling you for an afternoon -- but I just can't shake the feeling that you'd be better off with a different type of Daddy than I. (why set up another meeting if you weren't interested?) One who's more naturally dominant and authoritative.  I'm not very good at taking control with first-time sugar babes; I already knew that. (Then why pursue me if you already knew ?) 

 

We tried it out, and you got a couple of cute things to enjoy and (hopefully) some great preparation for meeting the SD who is just perfect for you.  Enjoy the rest of your break here in *place that I live* and I wish ya the greatest success, both in your search for a SD and everything else!"

What should I say back to this?! Should I even say anything? Why waste my time fuck head? I have to be thankful for my new earrings and my new boots. At least I got something out of it, right? I guess it wasn't a total waste of time. Maybe we can be friends or possibly be together later when I get more "selfish".  

 

Mr. BrickBreaker

So the date went fairly well with Mr. Brickbreaker. I met up with him and then we went shopping. He wanted me to shop for shoes, so I did. I only came away with one pair. Saddening! The shoes just weren't speaking to me. I did get some amazing betsey johnson earrings!  THEY ARE SO AMAZING!! I love them so much!! He wants to meet back up on Saturday before I leave again. I hope it goes better than today. I'm sure it will seeing as I was so nervous. **update** Haven't heard from him since I sent an email thanking him for a lovely time. Maybe he will be *poof*daddy?

Mr. Hardwood flaked on me again.... 2nd time.  He had said something about not hearing from me and wanted to cancel the date. He had also said something about dating other people... WEIRD!! Why didn't he just call me like a normal person...?!?!

I love being back in my home town... Me and my sister went downtown to scout some places out. We got free bottle service for the night! I love promoters! Mad props to the promoters!!

Hope you all have an amazing thanksgiving!

Lesson 5

LESSON 5: WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU’RE A SUGAR BABE?

You shouldn't become a sugar babe without thinking about how it might change you. Here is what might happen to you:

- If you’re a sugar babe once, you could be a sugar babe again. Because you’ll see how easy it is to get things you want this way. As a sugar babe you will never take a part-time job for $10 an hour, because you are used to money coming so much more easily than that.
- You might become more spoiled and self-centered. At first you will only act this way to get what you want from your sugar daddy, and because he enjoys it, but eventually you will find yourself acting this way more often even when you are not with him.
- You could look at men differently. Once you really learn how powerful a woman can be when she knows how to make a man give her what she wants, you will respect men less. It might be harder for you to look at men as anything other than toys for you to play with.

You have to decide if you want these changes to happen to you. One thing you *should not* do is be monogamous with your sugar daddy. Maintaining a casual relationship with a boy close to your age will actually help you enjoy your time with your SD more deeply, because it will sharpen the contrast between what the boy and daddy are giving you. They are VERY different -- you will find it's not at all like trying to maintain relationships with two boys of about equal stature. If you remain sexually active with other boys you will need to discuss the matter of protection with your daddy and decide together how to handle that.

Okay, this is my very last question for you. The final exam. And I want you to think about it carefully! Finish this statement for me.

“I want to become a sugar babe because....”

And you can’t say “because I want this and that.” I’m looking for a different answer... why do you want to be a *sugar babe* to get those things, rather than taking a part time job or getting a loan or asking your grandma for money? Be introspective. This is the most important question I will ask you.

Lesson 4

LESSON 4. THE EVOLUTION OF A SD/SB AFFAIR, and SEX

A SD/SB relationship is constantly evolving, just like any other relationship. It goes through stages, and the transition from one stage to the next is marked by certain milestones.

DEVELOPING: Our first few outings will be about trust building. During this stage it will be very natural for the new SB to assume a submissive role and defer to her daddy in all decisions. She's experimenting with placing herself in his hands; if anything, over the first few dates she will become MORE submissive and even less assertive, as she experiments with how deeply she can trust him. The daddy will know that a firm guiding hand and early establishment of a steady flow of gifts and support are both needed. If the match is good, she will begin to develop a powerful admiration for her daddy and affection for the feeling of security he provides. During this stage it is difficult/rare for the SB to play the part of the Femme Fatale.

MATURING: Although physical encounters may happen earlier, the biggest threshold to the maturing stage is the beginning of an ongoing sexual relationship. The transition can be difficult if the SB has assumed such a submissive role as to seem childlike to her SD, sterilizing and ending the relationship. To avoid this the SD will prepare the SB by pushing for little pre-sexual milestones as the affair develops. His SB must expect that these may sometimes be just beyond her comfort zone at the time, but that's part of the growth process. The SB should feel that the slip toward sex is gradual but inevitable, like a fall from grace.

In a 'normal' relationship, once regular sex begins the power balance almost always tilts toward the man. For a SB and SD, it is the opposite. A girl will be empowered by the feeling of balance that enters into what may previously have felt like an unequal relationship. It is at this stage that the emboldened and maturing SB may begin to regularly ask for things ("I want,") beyond simply accepting with gratitude what her SD gives. She will explore and test the limits of her power; the assertive Femme Fatale begins to emerge occasionally, although she is not a universal presence as the SB continues to enjoy the comfortable earlier dynamic of submission.

DADDY'S GIRL: This is the full, beautiful fruition of "daddy's spoiled little girl." Although the mature, empowered SB may continue to enjoy submitting to her SD's wishes, her submission becomes part of a delightful game, just as does her Femme Fatale side. Her daddy, hopelessly smitten with her, can be assertive and stern, but he also melts before his babe's subtle manipulations, when she chooses to apply them. Daddy's girl feels safe and secure and well looked after in his hands; she looks up to him, respects his accomplishments, revels in the feeling of being treasured. Daddy's generosity continues, but she freely asks for things she wants, becase she knows daddy will not let her down.

This time, the test is in short answer format. The questions are meant to help me learn your attitude toward sex. Knowing these things will help me steer the right path between pushing too quickly and the "childish" dead end.

1) Who’s your favorite female actress?
2) How many men have you slept with?
3) Have you ever had a one night stand? Have you had more than one?
4) Are you dominant or submissive in bed?
5) Have you ever faked an orgasm?
6) Should a sugar babe fake an orgasm?
7) On a scale of 1 (you’re an angel) to 10 (the baddest girl you know is ... YOU), where would you put yourself right now?
8) On that same scale, where do you WANT to be?
9) Have you ever had any of the following: charity sex, sex that you've been told about but can't remember, sex with multiple partners, sex out of boredom with someone you weren't that attracted to?

Lesson 3

3. BEING A FEMME FATALE

A sugar babe strives to be the perfect companion for her man, but *she* controls much of the arrangement in subtle ways.

She can do this because she knows two things about men:
- her man will work hardest to please her, to satisfy her desires, if he feels that he is in danger of losing the pleasures she is giving him.

- men, even confident men, have fragile egos. If she can figure out what a man wants to be admired for – it might be his looks, his power, his brains - she’ll know how to act as his biggest fan and supporter when it serves her purposes. She’ll also know how to chip away at his ego, because there will be times when that serves her purposes too.

A Femme Fatale never lets emotion cloud her objectives. Even as she’s having fun hanging out with her sugar daddy, she never lets herself think that she’s been given enough: she always expects more. Here are the Femme Fatale’s answers to #4 and #5:

4. Remember that she doesn’t always view the things her sugar daddy is giving as gifts. She feels that she is entitled to them: they’re hers even before he gives them to her. So she could also do one of two things: she might say nothing at all about that envelope, as if he’d just returned a lighter or cell phone he’d borrowed from her a moment ago. Or if she thinks he has not given enough, she presses him for more, maybe by raising her eyebrow and saying “is that really the best you can do, daddy?”

5. The Femme Fatale would flirt with the other guy - glances, smiles... perhaps she’d even turn her body toward him, flip her hair, I’m sure you know all the little body language signs. All of this is a show she puts on for her sugar daddy: it shows him that she is desirable and he must *work* to keep her attention. Never let your sugar daddy forget that.

To truly become a Femme Fatale you have to let your self centered side in charge. It’s kind of like learning to say “I want this,” I can tell that being manipulative and selfish won’t come naturally to you at first. But you must trust me: many guys find demanding, hard-to-please women irresistible. So we have to practice!

Essay question format for this homework.

1) We’re out shopping. You’ve just tried on a dress, and we both agree that it looks fantastic on you. As you’re in the dressing room taking it off, you look at the price tag for the first time and notice that it costs half a month’s rent. What do you do when you come out of the dressing room?

2) I’ve just given you an envelope, and while I’m in the bathroom you count the money and see that it contains $250. But you need $400 to have enough left over after paying your phone bill so that you can go out with your friends. You ask for more when I get back to the table, but I only have $40 in my wallet. What do you do?

3) We’re out to dinner, and you notice that I’m checking out the attractive waitress who is serving us. After I call her over to refill your water and keep her at the table for three minutes making jokes and small talk, you decide to do something. What do you do to turn the situation to your advantage?

Lesson 2

2. SPOILING YOUR SUGAR DADDY

The art of being a sugar babe lies in pleasing your man so perfectly that control – which starts out with the man – passes gradually also to *you*. To be a sugar babe is *not* to be submissively obedient; that's a common and unfortunate misconception. A sugar babe challenges and pushes her daddy, too.

The things that stimulate your sugar daddy are very different than what pleases boys your age. I know you’re sophisticated and mature for your age, but only a strong, adult woman can truly handle being a sugar babe. She knows how to use both her mind and body to attain her goals. Is that you? We'll see!

- you must be able to carry on intelligent, opinionated conversations about books, film, current events – the more topics, the better.
- you should naturally and gracefully fit in at fine restaurants, the theatre, upscale shops, anywhere we go on our dates.
- you should discreetly flaunt your beauty. I want other’s men’s heads to turn when I’m out with you: you will be my arm candy. But I want them to look because you’re naturally, simply beautiful, not because you have tried too hard to be sexy by wearing too much makeup, dressing inappropriately for the occasion, and so on.
- you must be able to lie with skill. Our relationship is private. If we meet anyone I know, you must tell the cover story we will invent as easily as if it were the truth.
- you must be observant and pick up on my preferences and dislikes, filing them away in their memory.
- you must become skilled at flirtation and teasing, if you are not already.
- when you give the simplest gift a woman can give a man, you must remember view it or offer it as a quid pro quo.
- you must never, ever be shy about telling me what YOU want. Remember lesson 1?

I said there were no tests in Sugar Babe 101. I lied!

1) Tell me three valuable (to you) things (not objects; think more generally) you will enjoy giving your SD.
2) How old have the guys you’ve dated been? (this helps me understand if you've been in any quasi-SD relationships in the past)
3) What are you going to say to your friends when they ask you how you got the extra money or the new things?
4) What are you going to say to me the first time I give you an envelope, you open it and see that it’s filled with cash?
5) When you’re out on a date and you catch another guy looking at you, do you make eye contact and flirt with him? Do you make sure guy you’re with notices you doing this, or do you try to hide it?
6) Do you know what it means to be a Femme Fatale? If not, check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Femme_fatale. Do you think you can become a Femme Fatale to get what you want?

Lesson 1

These are the "lessons" that Mr. Brickbreaker has been sending me. They have been very insightful and think they would benefit some new sugarbabies, maybe even some of the more experienced.

LESSON ONE: learn to say the words “I want.” You have to be able to tell me things like “I want you to buy me this dress” and “I need five hundred dollars.” This is not as easy as it sounds. You might be uncomfortable the first couple of times. But it’s VERY important that eventually that become natural and easy thing for you to say.

A Sugar Daddy *enjoys* satisfying his babe’s wants and needs. But he must know what they are! I won’t be able to read your mind at the beginning. Later, once I have learned what makes you happy, it gets easier. Self-centeredness is what being a Sugar Babe is about. It's NOT a bad quality, not for a Sugar Babe; you must stop thinking of it that way.

Did I say there was no homework? I lied! Here is your assignment: you must practice saying “I want” so that you are used to it. Like this:

“I want to get rid of my crappy cellphone and get a BlackBerry.”

Write me 5 sentences like that. Each one starting with “I want.” They might be something you want to buy, some amount of money you want to have to pay a bill, an experience you want to have like a spa treatment... whatever. But make them things you’d expect your Sugar Daddy to give you – no matter how simpatico we are I’m not going to buy you a Range Rover.

Not too much excitement going on.

I was shopping online earlier this morning. I BELIEVE I DIED AND WENT TO SHOE HEAVEN...  So funky, so cute!

I'm super excited to go back home for the Thanksgiving holidays. Family, SDs who want to take me shopping, hockey games, more shopping with the family, meals, card playing, drinking, and lots of laughs to come out of next week. Two dates on Wednesday might have me a little flustered but I'm sure I can manage.

Mr BrickBreaker is coming along nicely. We have emailed everyday, at least twice a day. We have a meeting set up for Wednesday when I get back home. Shopping is what he wants to do. OH THANK THE SHOPPING LORDS! Hopefully a new pair of boots, since my last ones pooped out on me. He wants to go to the shopping mall that has burberry, saks, neiman, betsey, etc. YAY!!! Hopefully he follows through. Jinx?... hopefully not.

Mr. Hardwood- is not really a SD. Actually came into my life before I started thinking about being a SB. VP of a company. Our first date was at the horse races. Paid for everything including my bets. Anyway he wants to go to a hockey game (never been to one) on Wednesday. So hopefully my first meeting with BrickBreaker won't run THAT late. If it does then I'll just have to be late.

2 more PotSDs coming along.  More on those when they come.

Did I mention how much I love weekends?!

Until then sugars!

Brick Breaker

Here I am looking at SD4M, noticed I had a couple of messages... SWEET!


I opened this one message. 


"...You wrote beautifully about the things you enjoy; perhaps you could tell me more about things you're seeking to attain for yourself. Don't hold back -- honest expression of desires and expectations is where any good SB/SD relationship starts..."


Finally a person who actually reads a profile and writes beautifully. Not to mention wants me to be upfront and honest about everything. We have emailed back and forth and I feel I have been writing a novel or book. It takes me about an hour to send him back an email, I'm not complaining, It's actually quite fun. 


"This letter may have been even more boring than the last!  Oh, woe is me, having to write a reply to such a tedious missive... if only the BrickBreaker app on my BlackBerry weren't broken I could be having so much fun right now ..." 


His name is going to be.... Mr. Brick Breaker. Can you sense the sarcasm?


"...But one thing is crucial: you should feel an increasing sense of power as well as security as the SD/SB dynamic evolves.  It must never feel like "I'm getting this because I'm giving him that."  Have you reached that milestone yet, or given thought to it?  My advice is not to rush just because you've convinced yourself it's expected.   That's poison."


Perfectly put, my good man! Do you guys think so? He seems to want me to be very comfortable in the relationship and if I'm not he/we will fix it. 


Quick question: Do you ever feel like you write more beautifully than you talk in person? 


Sometimes I think I have that problem. Don't get me wrong, I can talk, I'm just more submissive in conversations (usually). I don't typically talk about things I don't have much knowledge about. I really dislike talking about me too much as well. 




Haven't heard from MR. G. Sent him an email this morning but haven't gotten word back. 

Sugar, Sugar, Sugar

So here I am, bored on a Monday night and get inspiration to look for a SD on Craigslist... I know, not very safe, but for me they are a little easy for me to weed out.

• poor grammar
• asking for body shots (naked)
• Etc.

After posting 3 posts on craigslist and getting flagged for every one of them. I snatched up 4... 3/4 are promising.

1. I educated one on what an SD actually does ( granted I don't like teaching at this point because I don't have that much experience) maybe I did that to two, but that was one that asked me for the body pictures (LAME)  This guy wanted to meet up during the week to get drinks and see if we would click. I replied back that I couldn't and could do it next week, despite it being thanksgiving week and all. (hope we can meet, he looks very cute from his pictures) The only thing I am worried about is he didn't tell me his age, just his age range. HMMMMMM....
2. Cute, but had a big head. Looked nice in his picture with his suit on. Haven't talked more with him. 
3. One who is 25 and supposedly makes big money. He had an SD before, but said "
   
   

   sexually i got WHATEVER I wanted WHENEVER I wanted and she received allowances and shopping sprees and trips." I can maybe do the whatever (to an extent), but the whenever... hmmm PDA, no thanks. I only want to see someone maybe 2-3 per month, maybe more, so the whenever is puts me in a bit of a pickle too... UPDATE ON MR G: Got a text from him last night. He still hadn't called (was supposed to on Friday). He made it back to Austin but had to go back to Australia the next morning... FAIL BOAT... He said he had a wonderful time with me and that he couldnt wait to come back to see me... I made a comment about the NO CALL, in a very witty way, he had made another excuse. I said "It's ok, next time just surprise me with a call. That way there is no pressure if you don't". Was that wrong to say? I think I'm going to post another AD on CL... Update as it comes Have a sugar-filled day!

   
   
   

MR. G

WELCOME!

Decided that this would be an interesting way to be close to other SB's in the sugar community.

Here is the latest SD info:

 We will call him Mr. G(the very first SD of my SB world)
I had a date with him about 2-3 weeks ago. Accent, very sexy (for mid30's), likes to dominate in conversations (which I am ok with).  Likes to drink. HILARIOUS!

Our date went amazing! We were supposed to meet up this past weekend. He was "still conducting business" and too busy to make it back. I decided to take a much needed night/weekend with the girls. He said he would call, but still hasn't. Do y'all have troubles hearing from your SD's? Keep in mind he has texted maybe once or twice a day.
I'm starting to feel like he might have another SB lined up. Maybe he is weighing out his options? Or not interested anymore? (but if that was the case, wouldn't he just tell me?)Who knows.  I might be jinxing it with this post but after all its a memoir of my Sugar world experiences.

Keep you updated with the latest as it comes!