Nov 29, 2009

I think I made an EWWWWPSIES!

I just sent Mr. Brickbreaker an email that probably wasn't the best to send, especially when I'm hung over and bitchy. OH WELL! Maybe I am channeling my inner bitch more? That's ultimately what he wanted, right?


Just some food for thought! I'm not really expecting an email back, but if you feel inclined to do so, great.  


If you knew that you weren't very good at taking control with first-time sugar babes,  why even proceed to talk to me? Did you think that I was going to be more dominate in person? Yes, I was very submissive but I was trying to get a feel of your personality, etc.  Usually when you do that you don't take the wheel, it's like watching a creature in its own habitat (ant farm, zoo, etc.). 


This isn't supposed to be a bitch fest but maybe you can see it from my perspective a little better. (you should always have other people's perspectives going through your mind) Maybe take this with a huge grain of salt, or put it in that file storage of yours. 


 About planning another date, why did you say anything if you weren't going to follow though?  Obviously you felt a connection because usually people wouldn't have mentioned meeting up another day. I was quite confused on that.  But maybe you don't fit into the "most people" category. 


I wish you luck on your journey. Hope your weekend went well. 


A fellow blogger and I went out last night to scout for potSDs, She might have hit the jackpot, don't want to double jinx it for her. Possibly one on my end as well. He had called last night on my way home to see if I was making it home safely. He wanted me to go back to the four seasons with him, but I declined. I'm quite glad I did, adds more mystery to the pot... I'm thinking he is married because he sent a text saying not to call or text till monday... assuming wifey will look at his phone? I didn't look for a ring, I was a little too tipsy at that point. 


Don't you hate when alcohol just sneaks up on you? I feel like absolute shit today and have decided to drive back to school at 5:30 in the morning to make it to my only class on Monday. FML! 

Nov 27, 2009

Mr. BrickBreaker is a bust



So I finally got an email back from him...


 "I wanted to leave a day or so for us both to think about how our first meeting went.  I had a lovely time spoiling you for an afternoon -- but I just can't shake the feeling that you'd be better off with a different type of Daddy than I. (why set up another meeting if you weren't interested?) One who's more naturally dominant and authoritative.  I'm not very good at taking control with first-time sugar babes; I already knew that. (Then why pursue me if you already knew ?) 
 
We tried it out, and you got a couple of cute things to enjoy and (hopefully) some great preparation for meeting the SD who is just perfect for you.  Enjoy the rest of your break here in *place that I live* and I wish ya the greatest success, both in your search for a SD and everything else!"


What should I say back to this?! Should I even say anything? Why waste my time fuck head? I have to be thankful for my new earrings and my new boots. At least I got something out of it, right? I guess it wasn't a total waste of time. Maybe we can be friends or possibly be together later when I get more "selfish".  
 


Nov 26, 2009

Mr. BrickBreaker

So the date went fairly well with Mr. Brickbreaker. I met up with him and then we went shopping. He wanted me to shop for shoes, so I did. I only came away with one pair. Saddening! The shoes just weren't speaking to me. I did get some amazing betsey johnson earrings!  THEY ARE SO AMAZING!! I love them so much!! He wants to meet back up on Saturday before I leave again. I hope it goes better than today. I'm sure it will seeing as I was so nervous. **update** Haven't heard from him since I sent an email thanking him for a lovely time. Maybe he will be *poof*daddy?

Mr. Hardwood flaked on me again.... 2nd time.  He had said something about not hearing from me and wanted to cancel the date. He had also said something about dating other people... WEIRD!! Why didn't he just call me like a normal person...?!?!

I love being back in my home town... Me and my sister went downtown to scout some places out. We got free bottle service for the night! I love promoters! Mad props to the promoters!!

Hope you all have an amazing thanksgiving!

Nov 23, 2009

Lesson 5

LESSON 5: WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU’RE A SUGAR BABE?

You shouldn't become a sugar babe without thinking about how it might change you. Here is what might happen to you:

- If you’re a sugar babe once, you could be a sugar babe again. Because you’ll see how easy it is to get things you want this way. As a sugar babe you will never take a part-time job for $10 an hour, because you are used to money coming so much more easily than that.
- You might become more spoiled and self-centered. At first you will only act this way to get what you want from your sugar daddy, and because he enjoys it, but eventually you will find yourself acting this way more often even when you are not with him.
- You could look at men differently. Once you really learn how powerful a woman can be when she knows how to make a man give her what she wants, you will respect men less. It might be harder for you to look at men as anything other than toys for you to play with.

You have to decide if you want these changes to happen to you. One thing you *should not* do is be monogamous with your sugar daddy. Maintaining a casual relationship with a boy close to your age will actually help you enjoy your time with your SD more deeply, because it will sharpen the contrast between what the boy and daddy are giving you. They are VERY different -- you will find it's not at all like trying to maintain relationships with two boys of about equal stature. If you remain sexually active with other boys you will need to discuss the matter of protection with your daddy and decide together how to handle that.

Okay, this is my very last question for you. The final exam. And I want you to think about it carefully! Finish this statement for me.

“I want to become a sugar babe because....”

And you can’t say “because I want this and that.” I’m looking for a different answer... why do you want to be a *sugar babe* to get those things, rather than taking a part time job or getting a loan or asking your grandma for money? Be introspective. This is the most important question I will ask you.

Lesson 4

LESSON 4. THE EVOLUTION OF A SD/SB AFFAIR, and SEX

A SD/SB relationship is constantly evolving, just like any other relationship. It goes through stages, and the transition from one stage to the next is marked by certain milestones.

DEVELOPING: Our first few outings will be about trust building. During this stage it will be very natural for the new SB to assume a submissive role and defer to her daddy in all decisions. She's experimenting with placing herself in his hands; if anything, over the first few dates she will become MORE submissive and even less assertive, as she experiments with how deeply she can trust him. The daddy will know that a firm guiding hand and early establishment of a steady flow of gifts and support are both needed. If the match is good, she will begin to develop a powerful admiration for her daddy and affection for the feeling of security he provides. During this stage it is difficult/rare for the SB to play the part of the Femme Fatale.

MATURING: Although physical encounters may happen earlier, the biggest threshold to the maturing stage is the beginning of an ongoing sexual relationship. The transition can be difficult if the SB has assumed such a submissive role as to seem childlike to her SD, sterilizing and ending the relationship. To avoid this the SD will prepare the SB by pushing for little pre-sexual milestones as the affair develops. His SB must expect that these may sometimes be just beyond her comfort zone at the time, but that's part of the growth process. The SB should feel that the slip toward sex is gradual but inevitable, like a fall from grace.

In a 'normal' relationship, once regular sex begins the power balance almost always tilts toward the man. For a SB and SD, it is the opposite. A girl will be empowered by the feeling of balance that enters into what may previously have felt like an unequal relationship. It is at this stage that the emboldened and maturing SB may begin to regularly ask for things ("I want,") beyond simply accepting with gratitude what her SD gives. She will explore and test the limits of her power; the assertive Femme Fatale begins to emerge occasionally, although she is not a universal presence as the SB continues to enjoy the comfortable earlier dynamic of submission.

DADDY'S GIRL: This is the full, beautiful fruition of "daddy's spoiled little girl." Although the mature, empowered SB may continue to enjoy submitting to her SD's wishes, her submission becomes part of a delightful game, just as does her Femme Fatale side. Her daddy, hopelessly smitten with her, can be assertive and stern, but he also melts before his babe's subtle manipulations, when she chooses to apply them. Daddy's girl feels safe and secure and well looked after in his hands; she looks up to him, respects his accomplishments, revels in the feeling of being treasured. Daddy's generosity continues, but she freely asks for things she wants, becase she knows daddy will not let her down.

This time, the test is in short answer format. The questions are meant to help me learn your attitude toward sex. Knowing these things will help me steer the right path between pushing too quickly and the "childish" dead end.

1) Who’s your favorite female actress?
2) How many men have you slept with?
3) Have you ever had a one night stand? Have you had more than one?
4) Are you dominant or submissive in bed?
5) Have you ever faked an orgasm?
6) Should a sugar babe fake an orgasm?
7) On a scale of 1 (you’re an angel) to 10 (the baddest girl you know is ... YOU), where would you put yourself right now?
8) On that same scale, where do you WANT to be?
9) Have you ever had any of the following: charity sex, sex that you've been told about but can't remember, sex with multiple partners, sex out of boredom with someone you weren't that attracted to?

Lesson 3

3. BEING A FEMME FATALE

A sugar babe strives to be the perfect companion for her man, but *she* controls much of the arrangement in subtle ways.

She can do this because she knows two things about men:
- her man will work hardest to please her, to satisfy her desires, if he feels that he is in danger of losing the pleasures she is giving him.

- men, even confident men, have fragile egos. If she can figure out what a man wants to be admired for – it might be his looks, his power, his brains - she’ll know how to act as his biggest fan and supporter when it serves her purposes. She’ll also know how to chip away at his ego, because there will be times when that serves her purposes too.

A Femme Fatale never lets emotion cloud her objectives. Even as she’s having fun hanging out with her sugar daddy, she never lets herself think that she’s been given enough: she always expects more. Here are the Femme Fatale’s answers to #4 and #5:

4. Remember that she doesn’t always view the things her sugar daddy is giving as gifts. She feels that she is entitled to them: they’re hers even before he gives them to her. So she could also do one of two things: she might say nothing at all about that envelope, as if he’d just returned a lighter or cell phone he’d borrowed from her a moment ago. Or if she thinks he has not given enough, she presses him for more, maybe by raising her eyebrow and saying “is that really the best you can do, daddy?”

5. The Femme Fatale would flirt with the other guy - glances, smiles... perhaps she’d even turn her body toward him, flip her hair, I’m sure you know all the little body language signs. All of this is a show she puts on for her sugar daddy: it shows him that she is desirable and he must *work* to keep her attention. Never let your sugar daddy forget that.

To truly become a Femme Fatale you have to let your self centered side in charge. It’s kind of like learning to say “I want this,” I can tell that being manipulative and selfish won’t come naturally to you at first. But you must trust me: many guys find demanding, hard-to-please women irresistible. So we have to practice!

Essay question format for this homework.

1) We’re out shopping. You’ve just tried on a dress, and we both agree that it looks fantastic on you. As you’re in the dressing room taking it off, you look at the price tag for the first time and notice that it costs half a month’s rent. What do you do when you come out of the dressing room?

2) I’ve just given you an envelope, and while I’m in the bathroom you count the money and see that it contains $250. But you need $400 to have enough left over after paying your phone bill so that you can go out with your friends. You ask for more when I get back to the table, but I only have $40 in my wallet. What do you do?

3) We’re out to dinner, and you notice that I’m checking out the attractive waitress who is serving us. After I call her over to refill your water and keep her at the table for three minutes making jokes and small talk, you decide to do something. What do you do to turn the situation to your advantage?

Lesson 2

2. SPOILING YOUR SUGAR DADDY

The art of being a sugar babe lies in pleasing your man so perfectly that control – which starts out with the man – passes gradually also to *you*. To be a sugar babe is *not* to be submissively obedient; that's a common and unfortunate misconception. A sugar babe challenges and pushes her daddy, too.

The things that stimulate your sugar daddy are very different than what pleases boys your age. I know you’re sophisticated and mature for your age, but only a strong, adult woman can truly handle being a sugar babe. She knows how to use both her mind and body to attain her goals. Is that you? We'll see!

- you must be able to carry on intelligent, opinionated conversations about books, film, current events – the more topics, the better.
- you should naturally and gracefully fit in at fine restaurants, the theatre, upscale shops, anywhere we go on our dates.
- you should discreetly flaunt your beauty. I want other’s men’s heads to turn when I’m out with you: you will be my arm candy. But I want them to look because you’re naturally, simply beautiful, not because you have tried too hard to be sexy by wearing too much makeup, dressing inappropriately for the occasion, and so on.
- you must be able to lie with skill. Our relationship is private. If we meet anyone I know, you must tell the cover story we will invent as easily as if it were the truth.
- you must be observant and pick up on my preferences and dislikes, filing them away in their memory.
- you must become skilled at flirtation and teasing, if you are not already.
- when you give the simplest gift a woman can give a man, you must remember view it or offer it as a quid pro quo.
- you must never, ever be shy about telling me what YOU want. Remember lesson 1?

I said there were no tests in Sugar Babe 101. I lied!

1) Tell me three valuable (to you) things (not objects; think more generally) you will enjoy giving your SD.
2) How old have the guys you’ve dated been? (this helps me understand if you've been in any quasi-SD relationships in the past)
3) What are you going to say to your friends when they ask you how you got the extra money or the new things?
4) What are you going to say to me the first time I give you an envelope, you open it and see that it’s filled with cash?
5) When you’re out on a date and you catch another guy looking at you, do you make eye contact and flirt with him? Do you make sure guy you’re with notices you doing this, or do you try to hide it?
6) Do you know what it means to be a Femme Fatale? If not, check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Femme_fatale. Do you think you can become a Femme Fatale to get what you want?

Lesson 1

These are the "lessons" that Mr. Brickbreaker has been sending me. They have been very insightful and think they would benefit some new sugarbabies, maybe even some of the more experienced.

LESSON ONE: learn to say the words “I want.” You have to be able to tell me things like “I want you to buy me this dress” and “I need five hundred dollars.” This is not as easy as it sounds. You might be uncomfortable the first couple of times. But it’s VERY important that eventually that become natural and easy thing for you to say.

A Sugar Daddy *enjoys* satisfying his babe’s wants and needs. But he must know what they are! I won’t be able to read your mind at the beginning. Later, once I have learned what makes you happy, it gets easier. Self-centeredness is what being a Sugar Babe is about. It's NOT a bad quality, not for a Sugar Babe; you must stop thinking of it that way.

Did I say there was no homework? I lied! Here is your assignment: you must practice saying “I want” so that you are used to it. Like this:

“I want to get rid of my crappy cellphone and get a BlackBerry.”

Write me 5 sentences like that. Each one starting with “I want.” They might be something you want to buy, some amount of money you want to have to pay a bill, an experience you want to have like a spa treatment... whatever. But make them things you’d expect your Sugar Daddy to give you – no matter how simpatico we are I’m not going to buy you a Range Rover.

Nov 21, 2009

Not too much excitement going on.

I was shopping online earlier this morning. I BELIEVE I DIED AND WENT TO SHOE HEAVEN...  So funky, so cute!


I'm super excited to go back home for the Thanksgiving holidays. Family, SDs who want to take me shopping, hockey games, more shopping with the family, meals, card playing, drinking, and lots of laughs to come out of next week. Two dates on Wednesday might have me a little flustered but I'm sure I can manage.

Mr BrickBreaker is coming along nicely. We have emailed everyday, at least twice a day. We have a meeting set up for Wednesday when I get back home. Shopping is what he wants to do. OH THANK THE SHOPPING LORDS! Hopefully a new pair of boots, since my last ones pooped out on me. He wants to go to the shopping mall that has burberry, saks, neiman, betsey, etc. YAY!!! Hopefully he follows through. Jinx?... hopefully not.

Mr. Hardwood- is not really a SD. Actually came into my life before I started thinking about being a SB. VP of a company. Our first date was at the horse races. Paid for everything including my bets. Anyway he wants to go to a hockey game (never been to one) on Wednesday. So hopefully my first meeting with BrickBreaker won't run THAT late. If it does then I'll just have to be late.

2 more PotSDs coming along.  More on those when they come.

Did I mention how much I love weekends?!

Until then sugars!




Nov 18, 2009

Brick Breaker






Here I am looking at SD4M, noticed I had a couple of messages... SWEET!


I opened this one message. 


"...You wrote beautifully about the things you enjoy; perhaps you could tell me more about things you're seeking to attain for yourself. Don't hold back -- honest expression of desires and expectations is where any good SB/SD relationship starts..."


Finally a person who actually reads a profile and writes beautifully. Not to mention wants me to be upfront and honest about everything. We have emailed back and forth and I feel I have been writing a novel or book. It takes me about an hour to send him back an email, I'm not complaining, It's actually quite fun. 


"This letter may have been even more boring than the last!  Oh, woe is me, having to write a reply to such a tedious missive... if only the BrickBreaker app on my BlackBerry weren't broken I could be having so much fun right now ..." 


His name is going to be.... Mr. Brick Breaker. Can you sense the sarcasm?


"...But one thing is crucial: you should feel an increasing sense of power as well as security as the SD/SB dynamic evolves.  It must never feel like "I'm getting this because I'm giving him that."  Have you reached that milestone yet, or given thought to it?  My advice is not to rush just because you've convinced yourself it's expected.   That's poison."


Perfectly put, my good man! Do you guys think so? He seems to want me to be very comfortable in the relationship and if I'm not he/we will fix it. 


Quick question: Do you ever feel like you write more beautifully than you talk in person? 


Sometimes I think I have that problem. Don't get me wrong, I can talk, I'm just more submissive in conversations (usually). I don't typically talk about things I don't have much knowledge about. I really dislike talking about me too much as well. 




Haven't heard from MR. G. Sent him an email this morning but haven't gotten word back. 





Nov 17, 2009

Sugar, Sugar, Sugar





So here I am, bored on a Monday night and get inspiration to look for a SD on Craigslist... I know, not very safe, but for me they are a little easy for me to weed out.

  • poor grammar
  • asking for body shots (naked)
  • Etc.


After posting 3 posts on craigslist and getting flagged for every one of them. I snatched up 4... 3/4 are promising.


  1. I educated one on what an SD actually does ( granted I don't like teaching at this point because I don't have that much experience) maybe I did that to two, but that was one that asked me for the body pictures (LAME)  This guy wanted to meet up during the week to get drinks and see if we would click. I replied back that I couldn't and could do it next week, despite it being thanksgiving week and all. (hope we can meet, he looks very cute from his pictures) The only thing I am worried about is he didn't tell me his age, just his age range. HMMMMMM....
  2. Cute, but had a big head. Looked nice in his picture with his suit on. Haven't talked more with him. 
  3. One who is 25 and supposedly makes big money. He had an SD before, but said "

    sexually i got WHATEVER I wanted WHENEVER I wanted and she received allowances and shopping sprees and trips." I can maybe do the whatever (to an extent), but the whenever... hmmm PDA, no thanks. I only want to see someone maybe 2-3 per month, maybe more, so the whenever is puts me in a bit of a pickle too...


    UPDATE ON MR G:
    Got a text from him last night. He still hadn't called (was supposed to on Friday). He made it back to Austin but had to go back to Australia the next morning... FAIL BOAT... He said he had a wonderful time with me and that he couldnt wait to come back to see me... I made a comment about the NO CALL, in a very witty way, he had made another excuse. I said "It's ok, next time just surprise me with a call. That way there is no pressure if you don't". Was that wrong to say?

    I think I'm going to post another AD on CL... Update as it comes

    Have a sugar-filled day!



Nov 16, 2009

MR. G

WELCOME!
Decided that this would be an interesting way to be close to other SB's in the sugar community.

Here is the latest SD info:

 We will call him Mr. G(the very first SD of my SB world)
I had a date with him about 2-3 weeks ago. Accent, very sexy (for mid30's), likes to dominate in conversations (which I am ok with).  Likes to drink. HILARIOUS!

Our date went amazing! We were supposed to meet up this past weekend. He was "still conducting business" and too busy to make it back. I decided to take a much needed night/weekend with the girls. He said he would call, but still hasn't. Do y'all have troubles hearing from your SD's? Keep in mind he has texted maybe once or twice a day.
I'm starting to feel like he might have another SB lined up. Maybe he is weighing out his options? Or not interested anymore? (but if that was the case, wouldn't he just tell me?)Who knows.  I might be jinxing it with this post but after all its a memoir of my Sugar world experiences.

Keep you updated with the latest as it comes!